I Have a Voice

I learned a long time ago that there are many choices that must be tackled every day. Some of them come naturally, for example how much creamer to put in the coffee cup. Personally I like coffee with my cream and sugar, not the other way around. Every day. Many decisions. Over. And over. And over. And over. It is exhausting. It is hard for me to relax. My mind is always going a 100 miles a minute. If I sit down "to relax" I feel guilty and think I should be doing something productive with my time. At what point in my life did I "unlearn" relaxing? My daugher, Melanie, is 3 years old. True to form she is a busy body. Literally. Spring is here and she enjoys being outside as much as I do. Melanie enjoys discovering and doing. She helps me relax in a busy-body kind of way. I love her dearly. My husband, Matt, is the king of relaxing. He becomes a busy-body when I am not here or unable to help. He is a rock. Seeing Melanie and him together is amazing. I have worked hard at jobs since I was 14 years old. I've been saving for retirment since I was 20 years old. I am an old soul in a 37 year old body. I am a loyal, hard-working, intelligent, emphathetic, sincere, and giggly co-worker. I sincerely care about what I do for a living and the people that give as much as I do to making the world a better place. Each step in my career is meant to better myself, challenge myself, and force myself beyond what I think I can do. When I have tried to slow down and create a world for me to relax in, it doesn't work. Everthing backfires. I need to be constantly busy to relax. That is relaxing for me. It is harder and not for everyone. I am honest enough with myself to realize that is what I need. I do have a voice in my future.

The Final Countdown

I am currently in the final countdown of my current job (and yes... it is a reference to that great hair-band song). (enter song here... ha ha)

On Jan. 28th I will say goodbye to the Monday through Friday, daylight hours job and the people I've worked with for seven years. I am starting a different job for one of the hospitals we currently do work for. I am excited about the possibilities. I am sad to say goodbye to some pretty amazing people. It is bittersweet.

My schedule (after the 2nd week) will be a rotating night-shift. That is something different that I am willing to take the challenge on. Wish me luck!

Melanie

It has come to my attention that I have failed to put a picture of my daughter on my blog. Here is Melanie Rose Jones. She is beautiful in so many ways. I pray that as she grows up she is confident, humble, loving, and stays true to herself. Here is my amazing girl... I am so blessed to have her.

Beautiful

To all the women I know:
You are beautiful. Remember that God made YOU the perfect shade of beautiful.

Sincerely,
Marla

I have SUCCUMBED!

I have been the person who subscribes to the opinion that my daughter does not need a DVD player in our vehicles. It helps that our vehicles do not warrant them -- we have a Ford Focus hatchback and a Volvo stationwagon. There is no good place to set one down or strap one to. My daughter is 3. She has taken many 4 hour car rides without it. She has even done trips between 8 and 10 hours without watching a movie. I keep telling myself that I never needed one growing up so why should I even bother having a vehicle that flips a screen down from the roof like you're needing to lay down and view the ceiling like you would at a planetarium?

All of that changed for me a couple weekends ago. I headed on a 4 hour trip with Melanie to see my family, just the two of us. This car ride took 5 hours. I have never had to make this trip in 5 hours. In fact, saying it takes 4 hours normally is slightly exaggerating because it is normally a little less than that.

During that trip I realized when your child is sitting directly behind you, needs something, and you're going down the highway 5 over the speed limit, your skills as a mother are limited. Granted, we had to stop a couple extra times for potty-breaks. Melanie is potty-trained and doesn't like to have an accident. Fair enough, I'll make stops for that.

There were stops for other reasons, though. One time we had to pull off the road so I could help her take off her light jacket. It was too itchy.

Another time I had to stop twice in a two-mile stretch for something that I cannot remember why anymore.

My daughter normally entertains herself quite nicely. But... this trip not so much. I am sure that I jinxed our trip because Melanie knew her entire stash of movies (about 12 DVDs) was in the back of my station wagon for viewing at Grandpa and Grandma's house.

So.... I get to my parent's house and realize I cannot experience another trip like that ever again. I re-read my summary of the trip and it doesn't sound so bad. Trust me... it was. I even called my husband afterwards saying I can't go through that again.

It struck me as to why so many parents have that van or SUV with the DVD player in it for their toddlers. It isn't because kids aren't smart enough to entertain themselves. It is because they can't do it the way we used to.

Our generation had free reign of the vehicle. No seatbelts. Stationwagons with 3rd-seat, rear-facing seats that allowed you to make faces at the people in the cars behind you. The enjoyment of diving from the middle seat to the back seat. Getting into "she/he is touching me" fights. My daughter will not know that until she is older.

Right now, she has to experience the 5-point harness hell of a full-sized car seat. Her entire body is strapped in, limited in movement, and I know she cannot lay her head comfortably.

I have succumbed. I'm going to get that portable DVD player. And I'm going to love it.